The Third Option

I love being a nurse, but of course with any profession there are the parts of it that are unpleasant.  I'm not even talking about the blood, gore and other bodily fluids, those don't bother me in the least.  (Actually I'm right up there with most nurses in that I can talk excitedly with other nurses, over lunch, on subjects that make most non-nurses retch.)  What I hate about being a nurse is having to chose between two equally bad options with out having a third option.  The proverbial rock and hard place scenario.

Do we not treat the patient or give them a medication that might do as much harm as good?  How do we respect a patients autonomy and watch them die from a treatable disease?  There is no easy answer. I know that all nurses have faced this type of scenario, as have many other professions who work with the sick and the vulnerable.  I'm sure that all of us have at one time or another wished that we could change the rules of the game, slipped in an ace, or conjured a third option from thin air.

I've started my PRIDE training in order to become a foster parent and have spent some time thinking about the similar situations that Children's aid social workers are faced with.  Should they split up a sibling group or try and keep them together even though that might mean losing a foster family who can't take the demands and leave?  Do you leave a child in a neglectful situation or do you bring them into care knowing that they will end up being baby sat in a motel room for weeks because there is no one who will take them?

Sitting in class listening to a similarly hard scenario that had recently occurred, and then in the days after all I could think of was "there should have been a third option."  There should have been a third option because we live in a country with abundant wealth.  There should have been a third option because I believe that I live in a country full of warm and caring people.  When it comes to kids who need protection there should always be a third option.

So I am becoming the third option.  I can't be the third option all of the time, or even most of the time.  But, by becoming a foster parent I will be the third option some of the time.  Mahatma Gandhi once said "You must be the change that you wish to see in the world."  Maybe, just maybe in being the third option myself I will help to create more third options.

The Mortgage Prize

A lot of the personal finance bloggers that I read have set themselves a reward for paying off their mortgage.  Generally the month after they pay off their mortgage they will use the money that they would have otherwise been putting on their mortgage to treat themselves.  Sometimes it's a new gadget or a nice supper or a trip.  I've been putting a lot of thought into what I would do to celebrate my achievement in 4 and a half years.

When it comes to gadgets I'm not sure what I'll want in 4 years time so it's hard to pick a prize, after all the reward shouldn't be constantly moving.  I toyed with the idea of a nice time out, but I certainly don't plan on depriving myself of those in the interim.  Maybe I'll make a cake and share it with my family to celebrate but it wouldn't be a big production.  For the most part I had decided that I would just jump straight to saving more for retirement, which for me would be satisfying in and of itself.

Then I got an e-mail from KIVA.  Saying that I was among the top 1% of lenders.  It was a bit strange, at the same time I felt incredibly proud and somewhat sad.  Proud because, lets face it, everyone enjoys a pat on the back.  Sad because the money that I put in my Kiva account was earned over 3 years while I was working for minimum wage.  How could I who earned so little be one of the most prolific lenders?  Should I step up my giving since the rest of the world isn't keeping pace?  I had stopped adding to my Kiva account when the loss of my job was imminent and since then have put all my financial effort towards saving in order to build a financially stable house for as many foster kids as I can handle.

On the bright side it did solve the problem of how to treat myself for getting rid of my mortgage.  The month after I pay off my mortgage the amount of my monthly pay check that normally goes towards my mortgage (should be about $1,900 at that point) will be lent to people through my Kiva account.  So I rub my hands and plot and plan and scheme for the day that I get to pay off my mortgage and, more importantly, the day I get to make huge loans on Kiva.

Kiva

            While I spoke yesterday of how great it can be to give your time when you cannot give money there is always need for charitable donations of monetary value.  There is a million worthy causes under the sun and how you spend your charity money should always be in line with your own values. 

            I would however, like to draw your attention to the organization that I have been supporting for number of years.  Kiva is a web-based charity that links entrepreneurs from around the world with people who are willing to help fund their small business.  In the traditional charitable format is that of giving a family a goat so that they can make and sell cheese.  Through Kiva you lend the family the money, which they use to buy a goat.  With the money they make selling cheese they pay you back. 

            Once your loan is fully reimbursed you can either withdraw the sum or you can either withdraw the sum or you can loan it again and help another family.  Loans can be as little as $25 and are administered on the ground by microfinance institutions, which are vetted by the Kiva team.  One of the big questions is how do I know that my money will come back?  Overall Kiva’s repayment rate currently sits at about 99%.  Personally I’ve lent over $20,000 dollars (which is possible because I lend out the money again once it comes back) and to date have only lost $75 (or a repayment rate of almost 99.6%).  In my mind I would rather chance losing $25 on a loan which I will be able to relend then give away $25.

The entire idea behind microfinance fascinates me.  Instead of giving people a hand out you are giving them a hand up.  The people taking the loans are accountable for what they do with the money lent and use it to build a business, which will improve their standard of living over the long term. 

The one draw back I can see associated with loans is that it is not considered a taxable donation, since you get your money back.  However, donations that are made directly to Kiva in order to support their infrastructure are eligible for tax receipts.  I invite you to take a look at what Kiva has to offer the world, and be a worthwhile venture.

Other ways to give back

Giving back was always a part of my finances as a kid.  The rule was 10% of everything that we earned went to charity.  You could save it up as long as you wanted and could give it to any cause you wanted.  But the reality was that that 10% didn’t belong to you.  It belonged to the rest of the world; you were just managing it. 

            I carried this habit over when I started working full time for the military.  As soon as my pay hit my account 10% was put aside.  Which is why when I was faced with losing my job one of the things that I struggled with most was giving up my charity money.  I knew that I had one maybe two years left with the military and then I would be on my own with dismal job prospects.  I might even need to pay for another degree.  My head told me that it made sense to hoard as much money I could put aside to help me weather the oncoming storm. 

            At the same time my heart told me that however bad my financial prospects might get I am much better off than most of the people on this planet.  That in cutting off my giving I was shirking in my duty to the rest of the world. 

            Eventually my head won out and I discontinued my charitable giving.  I felt awful and started looking for a way to continue making a difference.  I had no money to give so I started giving away my time.  I volunteered for a local community house and tutoring a couple girls in foster care.  It was one of the best things I have ever done.  Though the impact that my actions may have made were more localized they were no less important.  I didn’t know until about six months later, but my bi-weekly visits to tutor one of my students was a turning point not only in her academics but for her socially as well. 

            Showing up regularly and taking an interest in her life made a difference that could not be made with money.  It showed her that someone cared and that someone was willing to be there even on the tough days.  Though it may sound like I worked this miraculous change on the girl I tutored, the reality is she also changed me. 

            She is one of the strongest people whom I have ever met.  She taught me a lot about endurance and humor.  Watching her persevere in the hard times made it easier to face my own.  Nothing has given me greater joy then to watch her catch on to a topic that had been eluding her, or get caught up after years of not going to school regularly.  Working with her gave me so much more than mailing a check to a charity half way around the world.